To crush or not to crush, that is the question...?

Wow, didn't think I'd remember doing this again... ^^;

As implied by said tittle, I've recently developed a crush on a certain someone who I didn't picture myself crushing over... .__.;

It really is a big surprise for me, I never thought of her but as a friend, if not a dear one to me...

"How did I start feeling this way...?" I asked myself many, MANY times as I laid on my bed with her in my mind thinking what she was doing at that moment and how she was. I can actually recall where it all started, from the simple teasing of a friend I began to look at her differently; noticing the little things that I liked, that never had crossed my mind once when I'm talking to her....

At first I tried to banish such thoughts, attempting to rationalize that what I was feeling was ridiculous, nothing more then a childish crush that I seemed to have develop easily in my past. But the more I look into it -these feelings- I begin to think that I might have liked her way before, just not noticing it in how I dealt with her...

"Did I really have such feelings before for her...?" "How have I not seen it in front of me...?" I say to myself as doubt begins to make me think that I might not even understand what I feel...

Even now, I can't get the image of her beautiful face out of my head -which I'm sure she'll wave it saying she doesn't think of herself as beautiful even if she is to me- which is making me completely confused, lost and afraid...

I know personally that I am in no way good enough for her... I'm not good looking, I don't have anything special, heck I'm not her type...!
Which takes to the other thing, her reaction if she knew...

I can't even predict how it will end, the worst case scenario would be the end of our friendship which most likely devastate me, I'm not strong so if that happens I really can't see myself getting back on my feet...

But if I think about it, if she ignored it I think it might be worse...

I...I really don't know what to type next, this really is something that I don't know how it'll go...

I think I'll stop here, I have nothing more...