To crush or not to crush, that is the question...?

Wow, didn't think I'd remember doing this again... ^^;

As implied by said tittle, I've recently developed a crush on a certain someone who I didn't picture myself crushing over... .__.;

It really is a big surprise for me, I never thought of her but as a friend, if not a dear one to me...

"How did I start feeling this way...?" I asked myself many, MANY times as I laid on my bed with her in my mind thinking what she was doing at that moment and how she was. I can actually recall where it all started, from the simple teasing of a friend I began to look at her differently; noticing the little things that I liked, that never had crossed my mind once when I'm talking to her....

At first I tried to banish such thoughts, attempting to rationalize that what I was feeling was ridiculous, nothing more then a childish crush that I seemed to have develop easily in my past. But the more I look into it -these feelings- I begin to think that I might have liked her way before, just not noticing it in how I dealt with her...

"Did I really have such feelings before for her...?" "How have I not seen it in front of me...?" I say to myself as doubt begins to make me think that I might not even understand what I feel...

Even now, I can't get the image of her beautiful face out of my head -which I'm sure she'll wave it saying she doesn't think of herself as beautiful even if she is to me- which is making me completely confused, lost and afraid...

I know personally that I am in no way good enough for her... I'm not good looking, I don't have anything special, heck I'm not her type...!
Which takes to the other thing, her reaction if she knew...

I can't even predict how it will end, the worst case scenario would be the end of our friendship which most likely devastate me, I'm not strong so if that happens I really can't see myself getting back on my feet...

But if I think about it, if she ignored it I think it might be worse...

I...I really don't know what to type next, this really is something that I don't know how it'll go...

I think I'll stop here, I have nothing more...

Like father like son, huh...

Have you ever had a moment when you were doing/saying something then afterwards you realize that you did/said the same thing as you father/Mother...? =O

I do, A LOT...! >_>;

I've been noticing this now whenever I deal with my younger brother Mohamed, whenever we're going home on my car and I see him sulking as he's looking out the window so I'd be like teasing him about it, and continue to annoy him if he ignores me with taunting him and such which in the end result in him taking the bait... xD

Of course, as I park the car I get the feeling that it's all too familiar and as I do a quick stroll through memory lane it hits me...!
My DAD did the same thing with me when I was his age...!!! XoX

As you expect those were not that much of fond memories I had with my father, in fact it always pissed me off whenever he did it with me... >=(
So you can imagine my horror later at finding myself doing it AGAIN with him, even though I remembered about it before... ;___;

Somehow, I've been doing things like that a lot lately...
Those quirks and antics that my dad did, things that made me RAGE as a kid... .__.;

I guess subconsciously I've taken such habits as my own, never noticing that they were one of the many things that made me wish I could throw something at my dad... ^.^;

It's odd how the human mind picks up on such things without your realizing, don't you agree...? xD

ME FACTOED OF THE DAAAAAAY~
*I STILL fall for that trick that my dad does whenever he wants me all riled up...!*
(I don't know why I keep falling for it, guess it's dad stupid grinning when he does it. It rubs me the wrong way... xD;)

BTW, I still love my dad no matter how many times he makes me wanna smack him with a mallet... ;3

My first Blog...! :O

OMG, Amon made a Blog, RUN FOR THE HILL'S...!!! O__O

Yeah, I made one... xD;

Surprisingly though, cause I usually hate this sort of thing... ^^;
Buuuuut, I thought "What the heck" and just made one for myself... xD

Okay, guess I should start talking something by now, right...? ._.

Guess I'll talk about today... =P

Well, today's a Tuesday so that means it's the END OF THIS WEEK'S LECTURES...! x3

Yup, I only got Saturday, Sunday, Monday and Tuesday that have lectures on 'em while the rest of the week us free for me... xD

And today's lecture was non other then Professor Aman...! :3
Like always, the man come on bloody time...! O_O (8 AM SHARP!) To bad not all of 'em are as punctual as him... xP

Surprisingly too, not much of a fuss today even though not many contributed in the classwork like always... =O
Though thanks to that I was free from a nasty end of my week, so yay~ ^w^

Went back home like always, though I felt a bit sleepy on the way even though I slept SUPER early yesterday (9 PM!) so I was a bit confused about it, but thankfully nothing happened and I arrived home... :3

The rest of the day went as usual, with a fight's here and they're with my little brother's which isn't such a big deal... xD

Oh! Today I finally started playing Resident Evil 5 on PS3 after buying it three days ago, finally understood why some people didn't like it... xD;
Though I personally enjoyed so who cares what they think...! >=3
Sadly though, thanks to my PS3 low connection I wasn't able to enjoy much of the Online features of the game... D:

Funny how THAT led me to making this blog... xD (Was reading this blog:http://kijuju.blogspot.com/ which was related to RE5)

Hmm, this is okay right...? =O
Hope it wasn't crappy... xD;

OH! And now to start my new segment that I'll be doing with each blog... :3

ME FACTOID OF THE DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY~

*Did you know that the header pic your seeing above took me 3 hours and 37 Minutes...?
(Yup, I suck that much... xD)
EDIT:
(I've changed the theme for the blog and the old header was too big so threw that away, but if anyone is intrested to see what I was talking about you can check it HERE! ;P)

Thanks for reading~ <3